Yup. Nothing goes as planned, but according to God's will. And, since I have an issue with control, I can about guarantee that any time I make plans and get super organized, God is going to shake things up for me. Funny thing is, It still takes me way too long to learn my lesson and loosen my grip.
So, to begin. I've wanted to share this for so long. But never could find the right words or place, but finally I feel this is the time. We had a baby due in May. That baby did not make it into this world and we lost it on 10/11/2015. That baby was hoped for, planned for, loved, and anticipated. The loss was crushing. The months following were difficult, watching others get pregnant and have children. Of course, and as expected, God redeemed. He grew me from that loss. And, finally in February, we learned we were pregnant again.
In the following months. I planned and prepared. I wanted to have a natural birth so we started a 10 week online natural birth class. I bought books, watched videos, read articles, and did as much research as possible on labor and medical interventions.
Both Nathan and I were amazed with what we learned. Research is showing over and over again that God designed our bodies in an incredible way. He made our bodies to know what to do and when to do it. Things like the oxytocin cycle: Labor pain causes the production of oxytocin, which increases contractions (and pain), increasing oxytocin, which not only speeds labors up, after birth is the wonderful hormone that bonds you to baby. (It's man made form is pitocin and it doesn't work as well).
God blessed me with an incredible pregnancy. I barely was nauseous at the beginning, after the first trimester I felt better than I sometimes feel not pregnant, I didn't have any pains, slept great, etc. People kept asking me if I was ready to have the baby yet. As if I should be so uncomfortable or impatient that I couldn't wait. But, I felt great and knew that most first time moms go 41 weeks. So, I was fully prepared to "go over".
At the begging of October the Birth Center in Bloomington opened up. (Birth Centers are awesome. The have tubs and showers and are staffed with midwives that specialize in natural, unmediated birth. Their C-section rate is 6% vs the nationwide average of 25%+ . They are connected with a hospital so, just as safe, but the environment is much less sterile.) Anyway, so we began the process of switching care providers so that we could use the Birth Center.
And, then Wednesday (the 12th) came.
I went in for my 37 week sono, and what I thought would be my last visit to my doctor. After the sonogram, the doctor informed me that she thought the baby was growth restricted. She said in the sono the baby was measuring in the 10th percentile, estimated weight 5 lbs 9oz, and they were concerned he wasn't growing. She scheduled me for a diagnostic sonogram at OSF for Friday.
I knew that growth restricted meant that they would either push for me to be induced or even have a c-section. So, of course I was not very calm. I did plenty of googling and decided that the 10th percentile was still not that small, that 5.9 was really actually normal, and that I wasn't going down without a fight.
On Friday, Nathan and I went to OSF and had the sono. The doctor again said she believed the baby was growth restricted and told me that they were going to transfer me upstairs to labor and delivery to have the baby- today.
Not at all what we wanted to hear.
I questioned why. They were estimating his weight at 5 lbs 11 oz, higher than Wednesday, he was measuring above the 10th percentile, and they still hadn't actually seen his growth over time.
Their reasoning again was the baby looked small. They wondered why I was so resistant. Told me that with Nathan's heart condition possibly being passed down to baby (which was ruled out at sonos early on) we need to be extra careful. After a few minutes of discussion they added that they thought the placenta looked like it was aging. They thought the baby, being now 38 weeks along, would do better "outside than inside".
Then, they dropped the guilt trip bomb that if we didn't get induced, we could have a baby with out a heart beat.
Nathan and I called our doula and talked with a midwife at the birth center. Both thought that the doctors were being overly cautious. But, the Birth Center said they couldn't go over the hospital's heads and so, that door closed. The Birth Center was no longer an option.
The hospital initially wasn't going to let us leave, but eventually, they let us set up an afternoon appointment with my doctor, and we headed home.
At the doctor we again met with the same arguments. They seems confused as to why I would resist. The baby is already 38 weeks. right?
I wanted a natural birth. An induction increases the chances of a c-section by over 2 times. inductions cause more painful contractions (remember pitocin, not oxytocin). The harder contractions are harder on the baby, often causing the baby to have an irregular heart beat. If the heart was a concern for my baby, why put it through even more stress? Not to mention, inductions require constant fetal monitoring (also increasing the rate of c-sections), they require IVs (increasing the fluid level in mom and baby, baby tends to "lose" more weight after birth), and all those contraptions limit movement (and movement helps speed up labor).
Our doctor denied some of these claims, which there is actual research on, and told us that she "just knew" that baby would (again) "do better outside that inside". And, she again said that if we waited, we could have a baby without a heart beat.
I can do my research, I can disagree with the concept of medical-ized birth, but I can only resist so long with that as a risk. I could never live with myself.
So, we scheduled a 6:00 am induction for Saturday.
I didn't sleep that night.
Enter, the actual birth story :)
So sorry it took so long to get here. Hopefully, this is not too much information for some and enough information for others. ;)
Bethany, our doula met us at OSF, that morning at 6:00. They didn't start the induction until 8:30 am.
Thankfully, the doctors and nurses at OSF are amazing. They completely understood my desire for a natural birth and they did everything they could to keep it as close to that as possible.
They started me out super low and slowly increased the amount of pitocin. (One of the nurses mentioned that they used to crank it up as fast as they could, but they are finding out it actually hurts mom and baby more.) I didn't feel much for a long time. Nathan, Bethany, and I sat around, waiting. I colored a picture, listened to music, texted my mom and Jenny (who were freaking out thinking I have been in labor since friday. :) oops), and played around on my phone. We snuck food in for me. (gasp) I think another one of the most ridiculous things is that they expect women to be able to go through the most difficult physical and mental experience of their life with nothing in their bellies but clear liquids. Marathon runners would never think of doing such a thing.
Anyway.
I didn't start feeling like I was in actual pain until 4:30 pm. And it took until 8:30 pm for me to actually feel like I was in labor.
The next few hours were pretty much a blur.
I had severe back pain, so I transitioned between sitting on a birth ball and being on my hands and knees, leaning over a peanut ball (shaped like a peanut). Nathan put pressure on my lower back, while Bethany gave me water, rubbed my back, kept my hot pack heated, and all sort of other things that I was unaware of. They were awesome. Seriously, get a doula.
1:00 AM
My contractions were coming in waves. The pain would get nearly unbearable and then ease up, but never they were never really gone. I was pretty much oblivious to the room around me. My monitors kept falling off, so on top of Nathan and Bethany both helping me relax, I had a nurse constantly readjusting the monitors on my stomach. I was so exhausted- remember, pretty much no sleep the night before- I was falling asleep in between the worst of the contractions.
Bethany encouraged me to be "checked". I hadn't let the nurses check me at all, yet. She and the nurse both agreed they thought I would be pushing soon.
So, I gave in and let them check me.
2CM.
I was defeated. I had been doing so well. Breathing and relaxing just the way I was taught. But, knowing that I was in that much pain and that tired at 2CM. I was done.
I started begging for an epidural and telling Nathan and Bethany I was done. Thankfully they and our amazing nurse kept telling me I could do it, and I didn't need one. The nurse however, did offer an IV med that would only last about an hour. So we went with that. I wanted some time to at least relax and regroup for a while.
The medication kicked in quickly. It didn't really help the pain, because at the same time they had upped the pitocin, but it did help me relax. So, with the help of Nathan and Bethany, I got back into a rhythm of making it through each contraction and resting in between.
2:30 AM
I never got the times but somewhere in there, I started feeling the need to push. They checked I was a 9.
A few minutes later, around 2:30, after assuring everyone that I really did need to push, they checked and I was a 10!
The room filled with people. My doctor showed up. And, I started pushing.
4:08 AM
Gideon Ray was born into this world. To a very surprised mother who was convinced he was going to be a girl. I think I made the entire delivery room laugh.
God's timing is perfect and I have a beautiful baby boy. I would not have been able to do it without both Nathan and Bethany. They were incredible. I am so thankful they were there with me. And, I am so thankful for the wonderful nurses and doctors at OSF.
So, yah. Not as planned, but amazing.
So, to begin. I've wanted to share this for so long. But never could find the right words or place, but finally I feel this is the time. We had a baby due in May. That baby did not make it into this world and we lost it on 10/11/2015. That baby was hoped for, planned for, loved, and anticipated. The loss was crushing. The months following were difficult, watching others get pregnant and have children. Of course, and as expected, God redeemed. He grew me from that loss. And, finally in February, we learned we were pregnant again.
In the following months. I planned and prepared. I wanted to have a natural birth so we started a 10 week online natural birth class. I bought books, watched videos, read articles, and did as much research as possible on labor and medical interventions.
Both Nathan and I were amazed with what we learned. Research is showing over and over again that God designed our bodies in an incredible way. He made our bodies to know what to do and when to do it. Things like the oxytocin cycle: Labor pain causes the production of oxytocin, which increases contractions (and pain), increasing oxytocin, which not only speeds labors up, after birth is the wonderful hormone that bonds you to baby. (It's man made form is pitocin and it doesn't work as well).
God blessed me with an incredible pregnancy. I barely was nauseous at the beginning, after the first trimester I felt better than I sometimes feel not pregnant, I didn't have any pains, slept great, etc. People kept asking me if I was ready to have the baby yet. As if I should be so uncomfortable or impatient that I couldn't wait. But, I felt great and knew that most first time moms go 41 weeks. So, I was fully prepared to "go over".
At the begging of October the Birth Center in Bloomington opened up. (Birth Centers are awesome. The have tubs and showers and are staffed with midwives that specialize in natural, unmediated birth. Their C-section rate is 6% vs the nationwide average of 25%+ . They are connected with a hospital so, just as safe, but the environment is much less sterile.) Anyway, so we began the process of switching care providers so that we could use the Birth Center.
And, then Wednesday (the 12th) came.
I went in for my 37 week sono, and what I thought would be my last visit to my doctor. After the sonogram, the doctor informed me that she thought the baby was growth restricted. She said in the sono the baby was measuring in the 10th percentile, estimated weight 5 lbs 9oz, and they were concerned he wasn't growing. She scheduled me for a diagnostic sonogram at OSF for Friday.
I knew that growth restricted meant that they would either push for me to be induced or even have a c-section. So, of course I was not very calm. I did plenty of googling and decided that the 10th percentile was still not that small, that 5.9 was really actually normal, and that I wasn't going down without a fight.
On Friday, Nathan and I went to OSF and had the sono. The doctor again said she believed the baby was growth restricted and told me that they were going to transfer me upstairs to labor and delivery to have the baby- today.
Not at all what we wanted to hear.
I questioned why. They were estimating his weight at 5 lbs 11 oz, higher than Wednesday, he was measuring above the 10th percentile, and they still hadn't actually seen his growth over time.
Their reasoning again was the baby looked small. They wondered why I was so resistant. Told me that with Nathan's heart condition possibly being passed down to baby (which was ruled out at sonos early on) we need to be extra careful. After a few minutes of discussion they added that they thought the placenta looked like it was aging. They thought the baby, being now 38 weeks along, would do better "outside than inside".
Then, they dropped the guilt trip bomb that if we didn't get induced, we could have a baby with out a heart beat.
Nathan and I called our doula and talked with a midwife at the birth center. Both thought that the doctors were being overly cautious. But, the Birth Center said they couldn't go over the hospital's heads and so, that door closed. The Birth Center was no longer an option.
The hospital initially wasn't going to let us leave, but eventually, they let us set up an afternoon appointment with my doctor, and we headed home.
At the doctor we again met with the same arguments. They seems confused as to why I would resist. The baby is already 38 weeks. right?
I wanted a natural birth. An induction increases the chances of a c-section by over 2 times. inductions cause more painful contractions (remember pitocin, not oxytocin). The harder contractions are harder on the baby, often causing the baby to have an irregular heart beat. If the heart was a concern for my baby, why put it through even more stress? Not to mention, inductions require constant fetal monitoring (also increasing the rate of c-sections), they require IVs (increasing the fluid level in mom and baby, baby tends to "lose" more weight after birth), and all those contraptions limit movement (and movement helps speed up labor).
Our doctor denied some of these claims, which there is actual research on, and told us that she "just knew" that baby would (again) "do better outside that inside". And, she again said that if we waited, we could have a baby without a heart beat.
I can do my research, I can disagree with the concept of medical-ized birth, but I can only resist so long with that as a risk. I could never live with myself.
So, we scheduled a 6:00 am induction for Saturday.
I didn't sleep that night.
Enter, the actual birth story :)
So sorry it took so long to get here. Hopefully, this is not too much information for some and enough information for others. ;)
Bethany, our doula met us at OSF, that morning at 6:00. They didn't start the induction until 8:30 am.
Thankfully, the doctors and nurses at OSF are amazing. They completely understood my desire for a natural birth and they did everything they could to keep it as close to that as possible.
They started me out super low and slowly increased the amount of pitocin. (One of the nurses mentioned that they used to crank it up as fast as they could, but they are finding out it actually hurts mom and baby more.) I didn't feel much for a long time. Nathan, Bethany, and I sat around, waiting. I colored a picture, listened to music, texted my mom and Jenny (who were freaking out thinking I have been in labor since friday. :) oops), and played around on my phone. We snuck food in for me. (gasp) I think another one of the most ridiculous things is that they expect women to be able to go through the most difficult physical and mental experience of their life with nothing in their bellies but clear liquids. Marathon runners would never think of doing such a thing.
Anyway.
I didn't start feeling like I was in actual pain until 4:30 pm. And it took until 8:30 pm for me to actually feel like I was in labor.
The next few hours were pretty much a blur.
I had severe back pain, so I transitioned between sitting on a birth ball and being on my hands and knees, leaning over a peanut ball (shaped like a peanut). Nathan put pressure on my lower back, while Bethany gave me water, rubbed my back, kept my hot pack heated, and all sort of other things that I was unaware of. They were awesome. Seriously, get a doula.
1:00 AM
My contractions were coming in waves. The pain would get nearly unbearable and then ease up, but never they were never really gone. I was pretty much oblivious to the room around me. My monitors kept falling off, so on top of Nathan and Bethany both helping me relax, I had a nurse constantly readjusting the monitors on my stomach. I was so exhausted- remember, pretty much no sleep the night before- I was falling asleep in between the worst of the contractions.
Bethany encouraged me to be "checked". I hadn't let the nurses check me at all, yet. She and the nurse both agreed they thought I would be pushing soon.
So, I gave in and let them check me.
2CM.
I was defeated. I had been doing so well. Breathing and relaxing just the way I was taught. But, knowing that I was in that much pain and that tired at 2CM. I was done.
I started begging for an epidural and telling Nathan and Bethany I was done. Thankfully they and our amazing nurse kept telling me I could do it, and I didn't need one. The nurse however, did offer an IV med that would only last about an hour. So we went with that. I wanted some time to at least relax and regroup for a while.
The medication kicked in quickly. It didn't really help the pain, because at the same time they had upped the pitocin, but it did help me relax. So, with the help of Nathan and Bethany, I got back into a rhythm of making it through each contraction and resting in between.
2:30 AM
I never got the times but somewhere in there, I started feeling the need to push. They checked I was a 9.
A few minutes later, around 2:30, after assuring everyone that I really did need to push, they checked and I was a 10!
The room filled with people. My doctor showed up. And, I started pushing.
4:08 AM
Gideon Ray was born into this world. To a very surprised mother who was convinced he was going to be a girl. I think I made the entire delivery room laugh.
God's timing is perfect and I have a beautiful baby boy. I would not have been able to do it without both Nathan and Bethany. They were incredible. I am so thankful they were there with me. And, I am so thankful for the wonderful nurses and doctors at OSF.
So, yah. Not as planned, but amazing.
We made it. 19 hours.
feeling much better after some sleep. :)
oh hey there.
ready to go home.
ugh. I know I just gave birth, but I really should have checked this picture before I let the nurse leave.
Oh well, here we are, heading home.
Home at last, in his crib. :)
Congratulations to those of you who have actually made it this far! Hehe.
That's all for now. :)
And the angel of the Lord appeared unto him, and said unto
[Gideon], The Lord is with thee, thou mighty man of valour. ~Judges 6:12
In Christ
~Michelle
~Michelle
2 comments:
Thanks so much for sharing. Your post blessed me - and congratulations on that precious boy!
Renee
thanks for sharing, and so many congratulations! :) never as planned by us - always as planned by Him. love you!
-hannah
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